Chicago: Lyrics & Characters – All That Jazz
All That Jazz: Lyrics & Characters
Velma Kelly & Company: All That Jazz
VELMA:
Come on babe!
Why don’t we paint the town?
And all that jazz!
I’m gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz!
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano’s hot.
It’s just a noisy hall
Where there’s a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!
Slick your hair
And wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz!
I hear that Father Dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz!
Hold on, hon!
We’re gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
In case you shake apart
And want a brand-new start
To do that jazz!
Skidoo!
And all that jazz!
Hotcha! Whoopee!
And all that jazz!
It’s just a noisy hall
Where there’s a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!
Find a flask
We’re playing fast and loose
And all that jazz!
Right up here
Is where I store the juice
And all that jazz!
Come on, babe!
We’re gonna brush the sky
I bet you Lucky Lindy
Never flew so high
‘Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear to
All that jazz?
Oh, you’re gonna see her Sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz!
She’s gonna shimmy till her garters break
And all that jazz!
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother’s blood’d curdle
If she’d hear
Her baby’s queer
For all that jazz!
VELMA & COMPANY:
And all that jazz!
Come on, babe! Oh, you’re gonna see
Why don’t we paint the town? Sheba
And all that jazz! Shimmy shake
And all that jazz!
I’m gonna… Oh,
Rouge my knees She’s gonna shimmy
And roll my ‘Till her garters
Stockings down. Break
And all that jazz! And all that jazz!
Start the car! Show her where to
I know a whoopee spot Park her girdle
Where the gin is cold. Oh, her mother’s blood’d
But the piano’s hot. Curdle
It’s just a noisy hall If she’d hear
Where there’s a nightly brawl. Her baby’s queer
And all that jazz! For all that jazz!
Roxie Hart: Funny Honey
ROXIE:
Sometimes I’m right
Sometimes I’m wrong
But he doesn’t care
He’ll string along.
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine!
Sometimes I’m down
Sometimes I’m up
But he follows ’round
Like some droopy-eyed pup.
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine!
He ain’t no sheik
That’s no great physique
Lord knows he ain’t got the smarts
Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you, that whole
Is a whole lot greater
Than the sum of his parts.
And if you knew him like me
I know you’d agree
What if the world
Slanders my name?
Why, he’d be right there
Taking the blame.
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey hubby of mine!
Amos’s Monologue
AMOS:
A man’s got the right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?
She had him covered with a sheet, and she’s telling me that cock-and-bull story about this burglar, and I ought to say I did it ’cause I was sure to get off. Burglar, huh!
Now, he shot off his trap. And I believed her!
That cheap little tramp. So, she, I can’t stand that sap, was two-timing me, huh?
Well, then, she can just swing for all I care.
Look at him go. I’m down at the garage,
Rattin’ on me. Working my butt off fourteen
With just one more brain, hours a day and she’s up there
What a half-wit she’d be. Munchin’ on goddamn bonbons
And jazzing. This time she
If they string me up, pushed me too far.
I’ll know who That little chiseler
Brought the twine. Boy, what a sap I was!
That scummy, crummy, dummy hubby of mine!