Humorous Jokes and Wordplay: A Collection of Funny Anecdotes
Humorous Jokes and Wordplay
What did one leg say to the other leg? – The girl in need not combed.
What is the height of a bald man? – Have an accident and saved by a whisker.
What is the height of the blind? – Falling in love at first sight.
Why do they place 5 TVs together? – To see Telecinco.
Why don’t overweight women enter the kitchen? – Because there is a boat that sets: Sal Gorda.
A leper in a TV contest and the presenter says: Congratulations, you have won a trip to Tunisia! The leper says: What am I going to do with so much fish?
A father says to his son: Be careful with your new bike. If you fall, I will. The child reaches the handlebars on his shoulder and a round below the armpit. What happened, son? Do you know the house opposite the traffic light has a FOR LEASE sign? – Well, it’s a lie.
Why are turtles placed in the eyes? – Because they are contact lenses!
Why put sweets under my pillow? – To have sweet dreams.
Why put the PC in the window? – To see Windows.
Why do they have Canal+ with a poop on their head? – Because it’s only for subscribers.
How do they distinguish one in a football field? – Because he is the only float that leads to the wave.
Why do they put a condom on the front door? – So that it doesn’t get dusty. JE JE JE JE
Why do they take a pig to do the tests? – To have good chops!!!!!!
Do you know that when they buy a computer with Internet access, they give you a float? – Lest anyone drown while surfing.
Do you know that they don’t have pubic hair? – Well, because pads are placed upside down.
A person goes to 50 x 15 and after making a miraculous choice, asks: – What is your name? – Um… Can I ask the wildcard of the public?
Dad, Dad, the other day I saved money on the bus. – And how did you do that, son? – I ran behind him. – You are a fool, having run behind a taxi and you would have saved more.
A girl brings home a boy, gets in his bed. Immediately she suggests doing the 69. – What the hell is that? He asks the boy. The girl, realizing that he has no experience, says, I put my head between your legs and you put yours in mine. And without even knowing what she was talking about, and not to ruin the moment, the boy says yes. At the precise moment when the two were in position, the girl threw a crushing, stinky fart. The boy, crawling and coughing, pulls to one side of the bed in surprise. She tells him that she’s sorry, that it won’t happen again, and they take up the battle again. No sooner were they about to begin, another sickening fart escapes the girl. The boy, saying nothing, stands still, squinting, and begins to dress. – What is it, why are you going? says the girl. – If you think I’m going to swallow the other 67, you’re totally screwed!
A Little Language Dictionary
Chinese (read fluently)
- Thin Man: fla ku ching.
- Orphan: chinchupale chinchumale.
- 99: cachi chien.
- Underpants: ah huang vhos Tahu.
- Clothes: chin-chu-comb.
- Sexual scandal: Clin ton.
- Skirt: Michele sees cachi.
- Poor: lu chin, chin chin ga.
- Water and Suspense: cha cha cha chaaan.
- Widow: Widow chumacho.
- Chin: chin chu concha.
German
- Autocinema: Fajana squeeze in Volkswagen ajan.
- Marriage: kamas Kruger.
- Masturbation: rub cock.
Arabic
- Adolescents: paralapaja.
- Divorce: Miss clam away.
- Get off the bike: maja, maja lowers the Yamaha.
- Urinary Mosque: Ben-i-mea.
French
- Nude: I saw it.
- Dog hit by a train: you’ll kill him bow-pupu.
- Not hold: Memi.
- I had a hundred sons: parisienne.
Greek
- Adultery: atrapalos encopulas.
English
- Swivel Bath: Tina Turner.
- Copy right: copyright.
- Talc walking: walkie talkie.
Japanese
- Torero homosexual maravillosos gatorade: komosabe.
- Auto hit: your toyota tayota.
- Elder: tuchichitakaida.
- Bebe: toiToito kagaito.
- Impotence: Coffee mipitito nofunka bitter lazukar takara.
- Collective: tunalgatesuda.
- Electrician: yokito fokito.
- Premature ejaculation: tah.
- Sexual dissatisfaction: komo ke ya tah???
- Flaco: yana komo.
- Gynecologist: yositoko tukuka.
- Hemorrhoids: tukulito zacayamas.
- Prostitute: sinoyiro nocom.
- Finish urinating: sakura Supit.
Portuguese
- Mustache: carpet du mucus.
- Underwear: hammock-du-balls.
- Diarrhea: Falls du traseiro.
- Condom: banana sheath du.
Russian
- Dancer: sibrinka sedespetronka.
- Set of trees: boshke.
- Insect: moksha.
Zulu
- Lovemaking: Matanga tetumbo LATANGARA.
- I think I’m pregnant: hype guess.
- Hunger lagula abundant perspiration odor: tubaranda Metumbo.