If I Stay: Memory, Music, and the Choice of a Lifetime
External Conflicts and Internal Struggles in ‘If I Stay’
In ‘If I Stay’, Mia grapples with both internal and external conflicts. The external conflict manifests as physical and psychological trauma resulting from a devastating accident. Mia’s body is severely injured: she arrives at the hospital in a coma with a collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, internal bleeding, and brain damage. Physically, she is in pieces.
Her relatives experience a profound sense of loss. Although Mia’s body remains, she is caught between life and death, unable to communicate or interact. This creates a palpable feeling of absence. Adam, along with Mia, tries to bridge this gap by recalling their shared history. He pieces together memories of their meeting and experiences, effectively rebuilding their love story. This process forges an unbreakable bond, fostering gratitude between them.
Mia’s grandfather attempts to influence her decision, urging her to stay, believing he can offer her more if she remains on Earth. He says, “I want you to stay…But that’s what I want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It´s okay if you have to leave us. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting.” It is at this moment that Mia fully comprehends the loss of her father and brother and realizes the urgency of her decision.
Kim, Mia’s best friend, reassures her while she is in a coma that despite the loss of her immediate family, many people care about her and consider her family. Kim acknowledges Mia’s fear and loneliness but emphasizes that she is not alone, stating, “There are like twenty people in that waiting room right now. Some of them are related to you, some of them are not. But we’re all your family.”
The Power of Remembrance and Connection
Each character is connected through the memories that unfold throughout the story. Flashbacks, depicting both good and bad times with her family, her first encounter with Adam, and her mother’s pregnancy with Teddy, help Mia and the other characters build relationships that guide her toward finding meaning in her life and making a life-altering choice. Adam and Mia use these memories to reconnect and strengthen their bond.
These flashbacks propel the story forward, even amidst the constant journey into the past, allowing the reader to grasp the core of the issue. For instance, the car accident, despite its tragic nature, teaches Mia’s loved ones the value of life and brings them closer to her. Although the story begins with misfortune, it ultimately reveals the most precious fortunes in life: gratitude and humbleness, the paths to happiness. This realization prompts the characters to engage in introspection, illuminating their lives and fostering awareness of their circumstances. This is evident in Mia’s statement: “I realize now that dying is easy, living is hard.”
The Weight of Choice and the Value of Life
“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.” ‘If I Stay’ is a poignant novel about memory, music, life, death, and love. Gayle Forman presents the transition to death through the lens of memories, highlighting their value once lost. The novel offers a touching exploration of love in its various forms, as well as the sacrifices we make for it. This book underscores the importance of gratitude for life and loved ones, urging readers to appreciate what they have and those around them. It explores the weight of making difficult decisions, where no option is easy. Would you choose to live, or would you choose to die?