The Power of Love and Loss: A Journey of Self-Discovery
“I do not recognize,” she had said. I do not recognize… Could it be that I never came to know? No. Nobody knew. Because I’d never let a person close enough to meet him. He always did or said something that spoiled everything. Intentionally? Who knows…
Full stop.
You believed, you trusted that you and I would find me when you were lost, that I would be the compass that guided us back to the start, that I would always be there. But you were wrong.
I can’t try to continue with a person who is constantly changing. It’s true that I’m throwing it all away, but you’ve given me no reason not to and continue forward together. It’s true that there were some good moments, but today, listening to music while walking, a tear came out of my eyes without knowing why. It didn’t ask me why I was crying, because I already knew. Once again, you’ve managed to disappoint me in the worst way possible. And then I started to look back at our history, or what would be our history, from the beginning. And I knew I had focused too much on the good, like a glimpse into a perfect world, and had minimized the bad. I swallowed so many tears for you. I missed the good run we had. It took too long to hurt me. But this time, you did it without knowing that there would be no reverse gear, that I can’t trust you, and that disappointment will now and always be a shadow in my eyes when yours are reflected in mine.
You know perfectly well that this is my final point. Our semi-final. What was supposed to be our dots.
Look at me, I look…
Smile, smile…
And a warmth flooded my cheeks…
And so, day after day, until finally, the words came out.
I like you, you like me, but what we keep silent is not necessary, and this is just beautiful.
Wake up, smile, it’s Monday…
Return again to him, and I risk my pride and pronounce the difficult words my heart awaits…
Your seat, quiet look down, and disappears.
You look, and I can’t find your look.
You smiled, and I find your lips, now fallen, those lips that smiled at me one day…
And so, day after day, until I finally forget, and find a different look, a smile, some words of love.
I find you in it.
And I’m happy.
But you come back to my life, apologizing, wanting to fight for me, giving me those looks again that I lost long ago, those smiles I craved, those words I longed to hear from your lips.
It’s late, my heart has an owner, you think.
Dreamer thought that made me who I am now, that you are unable to know what you think the heart feels if the heart does not think…
I have feelings for him, but now you’re you, I want you, in different ways, but I love you both.
Who knows what my heart will decide, but I know that my fate dictates, and my destiny says that what I seek is YOU.
Toxic to any environment, I made the routine for anyone who is afraid to live, to enjoy, and show what makes them happy.
I’m deadly for those people who fear what others think of them, empty shells described as “cool” for those who go with them when their heads are down for fear of being criticized.
I am a disease if your will is weak, without strength, without wanting to laugh.
I’m a pump for all who believe they are the center of the world and that everything revolves around them!
Yes, I am poisonous, twisted, and Machiavellian.
But I, unlike you, I live.
Cupid didn’t have time to draw his bow, he didn’t need to shoot. We had already fallen in love. You, my insecurity, and I, all in.
I said, “If we don’t take all of this, it will pass, and now you have to put my name on all the kisses that I left.” I froze, you grabbed my hand and drove my car to your home. There was confetti in the elevator. We found so many kisses we had to turn over our skin when there was an inch without kissing. Underwear no longer hid the things you wanted to see… That night, things happened that do not fit in any poem.
In life, we will always be affected by some type of loss, and it’s really not worth lamenting what could have been but was not. Everything has a reason, and every cloud has a silver lining. All kinds of experiences surround us, whether favorable or unfavorable; indispensable experiences for our day-to-day, and undoubtedly some remedy for future errors if we follow the right path, which gives us the perfect life.
Have you ever loved someone to the point of feeling that you no longer exist? To the point where you don’t care what happens? To the point that being with him is enough, when you look at him and your heart stops for a moment? I do. And I can assure you, it is as beautiful as it is painful.
Love’s Choices
There is no specific way to define love, because love is relative. There is no one way to see it, no one feeling, rather, it’s generalized, because you feel what you feel when you fall in love…
I chose love and all the consequences that this entailed. I chose that you were the person who filled my days. I chose your scent, the best scent that came to my clothes. I chose the kisses I devoured. I chose your voice… I chose to mourn for you from time to time. I chose to believe your truths and half-believe your lies. I chose not to want another hug, I didn’t want other hands to touch me. I didn’t want to see another face in the morning that wasn’t yours. I chose our month of the year and our day of the month, even though I never liked dates, but not to set a time for all the time we spent together.
I chose you to be my madness, and you, only you, calmed me during my attacks. I chose to fill the silence of the night with our laughter. I chose the comings and goings, the farewells. I chose impotence, uncertainty. I chose the fear of failure and the drives. I chose the eye contact, the trembling. I chose to be addicted to your words, the sound of your voice ringing in my head, as I feel it right now, deep inside me, so deep inside I’d say you’re here by my side… I chose to keep all the times intact, and a trace of what once was. I chose that my main hobby was to see you and kiss you until our lips ached… I chose not to skip anything. I chose to give it all. I chose to talk about us when I spoke of you. I chose to be strong without any kind of armor and fight for a just cause. I chose to give you all my chances and get lost in your own stupidity. I chose to stay with your hobbies, your flaws, and your touch. I chose to get lost anywhere in the world, and yet I wanted to miss you under any quilt…
I chose your breath in my right ear and left, and on any area of my body. I chose to go slow and feel the passion escalate. I chose to shudder at your touch. I chose not to limit ourselves. I chose the bittersweet taste of the discussions that ended in an embrace, to fall apart when I chose not to take it anymore. I chose to find you in places you never would be. I chose to still love you even when you were gone, and today I’m doing it… because I chose to take risks and make that gamble for you. And I don’t regret anything…
The Nature of Fantasy
Fantasies have to be unrealistic because the moment, the moment you get what you want, you no longer want it, you can’t love it. For desire to continue existing, it needs its objects to be permanently absent. It’s not what you want, but it’s fantasy. I mean that desire sustains utopian fantasies.
In this regard, Pascal says that we are only truly happy when we dream of future happiness, and also, “be careful what you wish for.” Not because you might get it, but because you are doomed not to want it as soon as you get it…
Life’s Journey
Life is a great story that begins with “once upon a time”… and sometimes that story is beautiful and other times not, depending on where, how, and from whom we are children, because that leads us to begin the journey…
As we grow, the challenges begin… turning away from the mother’s breast, beginning to support ourselves on our own legs, falling, getting up, crying because we want hugs, cuddles, kisses, crying from hunger, pain, laughing, smiling, copying Mom, waiting arms, or sometimes, unfortunately, mistreatment… And we start to understand, to manufacture the armor to escape the fear, to tire, to doubt our own capacity.
Social life begins: siblings, family members, acquaintances, friends, school, teachers, the street, obligations, fun… life…
We begin a whirlwind career that usually starts with great joy and a lot of support… and we see that in the race, some give up, others just run, others will flock together as far behind the first, are increasingly attempting to match the race and reach the lost leader… but they miss the wonders of the road, because they only look forward…
Someone who can see begins to distance themselves, is more alone, with surprises, cliffs, unfamiliar curves, problems, falls, and even the desire to not keep walking because they think it “not worth it.” But yes, it is worth it…
Alan Jones says that four unseen forces are necessary, almost angelic, to walk: love, death, power, and time.
Love is vital because if we don’t have it, we stop there. It is vital to be aware of death, to understand life. It is vital to struggle to grow, but not be deceived by the power that accompanies growth. It is vital that you take the web of empowerment with its opportunities and limitations.
On our way, our story, we must do everything possible to value each second, when we need rest, and continue towards the light, not paralyze us in the dark moments of great distress. In our soul is the soul of the universe… so, in these times fraught with misunderstandings and tripping, a loyal friend is invaluable and healing. It gives us peace to see the same thing from different points of view… Friendship has no outstanding debts to the past, only constructs a continuous time and present. It is accepted and wanted.
It is a witness who is on our side, no question of changing, we do not put time limits, we do not panic about the future of the relationship. It accepts us and loves us… They are witnesses who are on our side, that’s a friend, and friends are such unique jewels…
Learning from the Past
Wanting to learn from past mistakes is meaningless. But how do you really learn? Note that it wasn’t actually a mistake, but a result. Some combination of actions that you performed successfully generated a result, unwanted as it may be. So really, you succeeded. You were effective. You got something. What you should do now is to get something different. You’ve proven that you are effective as far as results are concerned. Now it’s just about getting the specific result you’re looking for.
Your present actions are not dependent on your past actions. There is absolutely no connection. Your actions can be anything you want them to be. You can change, you can adjust based on your experience. Don’t make the mistake of thinking, “Next time I’ll do better.” After all, you don’t really want to do better. You want to do it differently. Determine what it was that led to the unintended result, and modify it. You’ve seen that you are actually very effective in making things happen. Use that effectiveness to your advantage. Use it to get the results you want.
A First “I Love You”
Yesterday afternoon, we were sitting at the table. We did nothing, didn’t even talk. I had my hand resting on an ashtray free of ash. We were sad: that was how we were sad. But it was a sweet sadness, almost a peace.
I was watching you, and suddenly, you moved your lips to say two words. You said: “I love you.” Then I realized it was the first time you said it, moreover, that it was the first time someone told me. Lucas had repeated it to me twenty times a night. For him, repeating it was like another kiss, it was a simple spring foreplay. You, however, had said it once, and that was necessary.
Perhaps you no longer needed to say more because it is not a game, it is an essence. Then I felt a tremendous tightness in my chest, a tightness that seemed to be unaffected by the physical body, but it was almost suffocating, unbearable. There, in the chest near the throat, there must be the soul, curled up. “Until now, you hadn’t said it,” you murmured, “not because you didn’t want to, but because I wanted to know why. Now I know.”
Lost Words
The words are like a flock of fish swarming in your head and get stuck in the vocal cords, struggling to get out and be heard by others. And sometimes, they get lost in this way, between the head and throat. There are all those lost words that wander long in a limbo of silence (misunderstandings, mistakes, past, and pain) and one day come in spurts, and they start to leave… nothing can stop them…
There is a crazy wind. Doors are closed, causing a blow that would startle anyone. There is a current that makes you move through the streets. No matter who dies or not before you leave, you will not notice the difference. Your hair will fly in any direction.
And I just hope all this is that if the wind is so strong that it is capable of uprooting trees, that car is capable of dragging it… you have so much strength in me to start this desire that I have to see you again…
I’m about to embark on a journey towards the unknown, and if I don’t see you again someday, it is not easy to accept the loss… For more than I pleaded not to leave me, you said, “It’s not me, it’s destiny.” And then I realized that I loved you, but you had to choose another path… And now, that I use is life if not living with you, I hope that helps me if the last thing that dies, and without you, I am…
The only thing we all seek in life is to see who we want when we open our eyes in the morning. I don’t get anything weird, just someone who misses me even though we spent the day together, someone who will get nervous when they see me, who doesn’t get bored of my talks even if we spend five hours on the phone… who is glad to listen. Someone who always accompanies me home and makes fun of the way, however long it is. Someone who can kiss me by a simple impulse without feeling bold. I don’t care about the gifts, dinners, and flowers, as long as he shows that he loves me, I’m content to know that with me is where he would most like to be forever. And if you were here, nothing would please me more than to live it all with you and know each and every one of my smiles.
Someone just give me all that, choose to stay with me even if I have other plans, I feel that before any other place, that his friends are tired of hearing my name, write me the most beautiful letters in the world even if the letters are ugly and are only two lines.
Think of me more than he accepts, feel that the world falls apart if we argue, and embrace me, throwing away his pride. Someone who makes me laugh to the point of tears, and makes me laugh when I can’t stop crying. Tell me that all those love songs remind him of me, even if it’s a lie. Tell me I’m beautiful even when I’m not quite awake, tell me I give the best kisses although there have been better ones, tell me I have the most beautiful eyes even if they are the same as everyone else’s, tell me you love my hair even though it’s always messy. Someone who makes me feel the luckiest girl in the universe, just because I have him…
Then I realized that tears could not bring someone who had died back to life. I also learned another thing about tears: you can’t make someone who doesn’t want you love you again.”
When we are small, we always see the world differently and do whatever it takes to grow. We seem to put plugs in Mom’s ears, imitate our brother or cousin, and we think about the conversations of adults… But everything changes as we grow older. You begin to fill yourself with problems, to see that not everything is rosy, but is full of drawbacks.
With the passage of your life, your troubles increase, and your parents can’t always solve them. Sometimes they call them “teenage problems,” but many times they are more than that. The feeling of stress gradually consumes you, and people have different ways of collapsing, some more painful than others, but finally, they collapse. When we are young, we don’t have any problems, innocence frees us from much, whereas now we just have to assume responsibility for our actions. Truly, this is where it would be ideal to never grow up again…
I’ve always lived like Robinson Crusoe, shipwrecked among 8 million people. Then one day, I saw a footprint in the sand… and there you were.
Hug me?
─ Of course, yes, but isn’t it better if I hug you by surprise?
─ I need it now; what matters is not whether it’s a hug or a surprise if you see it coming. Hold me.
─ I’m hugging you.
─ I’ve always liked to rest my right cheek on someone’s shoulder and hold on tight.
─ I wouldn’t be able to let go.
─ Do you realize that we are in the middle of the street, embraced, and surrounded by crowds of bystanders who are watching? I love it, I please get closer, close your eyes, and rest your right cheek on my shoulder.
─ A bad day?
─ Yes, sort of. A bad day without you…
Astrid, do it again.
– Go back to do what?
– Get emotionally attached to someone who pays you a minimum of attention because you feel alone. Solitude is a human condition; no one will ever fill that void. The best thing to do is know yourself, know what you want, and don’t let yourself stray from the path.
We would dream of life. I keep hearing in my mind Quique saying that life takes you on strange roads. Or what I heard on the street this week, “if you try to believe in true feelings, you will be alone.” I spent a long time blinking and smiled. Perhaps as revenge for feeling offended. I walk faster to stop thinking. And I am able to control the movement of cars. And yet, the autumn cold does not bother me. But it is not easy to get rid of thoughts. So I started talking to myself and wondered if I look for something that does not exist.
At last, I was aware that all that kept me free of other concerns. Like the terror I still feel when speaking in public. That I keep things bottled up, and that’s not normal for me. That changes continue to alter me. That it’s been a long time since I read a good book. Or I miss going to the library not to study, but to read books of poetry in the music room or find vinyl and waste time. I miss wasting time further than it already is, often lost in thought. Why do I constantly do it? It also kills me. I’m petrified to stay anywhere, with immense sadness that I have even for memories. For memories that I see in others. And I am tired of dreaming of rooftops while dancing…
I feel I need something. Anyone. Is it possible to miss someone who may never have existed? It’s like being crushed, shaped, and milled. All at once. And I do not know if I should cry, mourn, or maybe just stay put, unchanged. Because you haven’t noticed, of course not. But today the absence has hurt more. Is there so much pain that I haven’t counted because only you would understand the comments that I have kept waiting to tell you, triumphs that I have not fully celebrated because you have not been there. And I wonder if I should begin to replace you. Then I think I’ll wait a little longer. I don’t want to forget you, or for you to forget me. Perhaps you’ve done it. Maybe I should do it too…
Never underestimate the power of fate, because when you least expect it, the smallest detail can cause a ripple effect that changes the course of your life.“
Fingerprints are not removed from the lives we touch.
I knew how much I needed to save you as much as I needed to save someone.
Born, wake up, think, feel, hear, draw, know. Be, dream, love, hate, disappear, kiss, enjoy, read. Exist, paint, forget, go, scream, run, laugh, mourn, love, live, think, learn, GROW! …… Die?
What do women want? Huh! What do you want? You want fucking supermen! You want guys who are strong but stylish, tormented with paints but funny. You like poets, but a little gross. You want them to be steady but surprise you, to know you, want them to be honest but retain the mystery, they are crazy about you but don’t care about you. You want them to be handsome but that beauty doesn’t matter, to have a good tail but the same size.. Damn! You want superheroes! You want them to have the ability to open the sky at any time but only for you. You want them to have no secrets but be like strangers each time so you can feel the fucking ants in your stomach. You want all of hell! Everything..
─ Basically, I want you to make me feel that I am wasting my life because it is very short. I want you to open your legs, not heaven, but to do it every night. I want to know you lie. I don’t want to care about your lies because your soul is with me when you leave. I want you to be generous because you can, not by obligation. I want you to have blood in your veins. I want you to yell at me that I’m a bitch when I leave you behind. I want some epic. Like I want to give you what I do when I’m not with you because you know that I will not find anyone better. I want my knees to shake when you grab my neck. I want you to have a pretty big one, that size does matter.
─ What I was saying, superhero..
Smile at the problems, fight for what you want, because life is short.
You have to break rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, and love truly. “Live in the past? “Live recalling painful moments? The past dies, this is true, the memory remains. Yes, it is inevitable, but life goes on.
You have to end it, what is bad for you, turn around and start again…
And yet, they were very close. Something tied them with a fine thread. A sort of sixth sense which lay behind those words. Of those endless conversations turned into music thanks to the breaks. Silences which were marking its solemnity, hopefully morning and promises. A kind of ancient wisdom, inner voice, breaking rules and conventions and pushing forward…”
This is the time when everything that should have been done is already done – or not – yet nothing matters because nothing else can be done rather than sit and wait…
When you’re all alone, and remember that person infinitely once a day, and remember the moments you have shared, each and every one of them, some good and some bad, but all special in their own way. And that’s all over just like that, and you’d be able to give your life just to be with him, the person who knew how to make you feel what you don’t feel with anyone else, and now seems to have forgotten everything experienced, all that you were, for every message, every look…
Do you think we’ll meet again?, Do you think you’ll recognize me? – The small but great Gretchen spoke those words, reserving a future lump in her throat for when she got home.
─ It is possible… I have to go. – Mark turned to walk away, still unable to look at Gretchen in the eye.
─ Well, bye .- She was doing it, her legs walked without an owner. Even with all her strength concentrated in those footsteps.
Gretchen wanted to turn around and embrace her friend. Mark had always wanted to. He, though not understanding it at all, used to reassure her with his words. He liked his jokes and occasionally hated him. Even got angry. Probably bothered him to feel so good and so confused at the same time with him. He was his friend, and he was about to lose her. (…) Years later, Gretchen was sitting cross-legged, looking at his photos. She would miss him infinitely. She didn’t care that it wasn’t good to cling to the past; it made her feel stronger. She thought that she would never lose sight of his image. And if they were to finally meet again, would she recognize his smile…?
Because suddenly you find that person, you have been seeing them for years, but they look different, you can’t take your eyes off them… And maybe before your eyes were busy with another person, but you realize that it is he whom you want beside you, and that however much life changes around you, you will be together again…
Okay, I am selfish, but tonight I can give everything for you. We have already found each other, right?, We’ve removed the masks. Very well, because we are selfish, more selfish, but together… We share our selfishness! What do you think, that it shows no fear, panic at the time when you get home, lock the door, and see that you are alone? Because you are staying alone. Stay with me, I am what I am, but I’ll do anything for you tonight…
─ Tell me you look beautiful.
─ Tell me you’re going to be mine.
─ Tell me you love me.
─ Tell me you’re not going to leave ever.
─ Tell me that you will not let me quit.
─ Tell me there will never be another man.
─ Tell me that you will never ask me for anything you do not want to give you.
─ Tell me you’re not going to ask questions.
─ Tell me you’ve never met anyone like me.
─ Tell me all these years you did nothing but wait.
─ Tell me you have no past.
─ Say you’re a virgin.
─ Say you’ll be my slave.
─ Tell me you’re going to give your soul for nothing.
─ Tell me what you want to listen or die …
─ Love me, or Rot in hell …
But above all, I learned that my life is sitting on a bench near an old river, with his hand on his knee, and sometimes, on good days, fall in love …
All lovers of the world believe that their love is unique and different, but of them it was. They were made for each other had and wanted to melt into one.
When they were together long when separated accelerated and became eternal. Every kiss, every touch, was a pure feeling naked. They could spend hours staring into the eyes and nothing else. But when caressed, kissed … then … there are no words to describe that emotion.
And under no circumstances, am one of those love stories where everything is perfect, because they are not real, they are products of the imagination: I’m not a love story movie, or book, or song. I’m a love story which reports that there are facts that do not even know if they will invent. I am a love story that is afraid, that does not dare. I gaze directed toward the floor, hands clasped, one does not know what to say.
I’m asking for your love story I have in mind the next time you think you can not confess that you want.
Niki looks down at her leg. His hand shakes Guido for a long time, motionless, almost in surrender. Accomplices. And do not feel guilty. At bottom, what have I done? “He asks. And yet, he knows full well that is breathing a new air, a sigh is long, deep and full. Accomplices. I never dreamed it could be like another. Other. Other. Almost feels like screaming that word, to that extent it seems strange, absurd, alien and impossible. Look back at your hand, right there on his own, relies on his back and carried away completely rendered by the streets of that strange night.
Silence. Not even hear the noise and traffic. Silence. It seems that the city is left with an open mouth. And a tear runs will face rebel. Yes, it is. … I am complicit
– Ah … and I thought … – He sits and smiles -. I was thinking how lucky I have. I thought: this girl is really pretty. And thinking about the moment we are living and … Look, I have almost afraid to tell you.
– Do not be afraid, darling, I beg you, say so.
– Well, I’ve never been so happy in my life.
The first love is that it reminds among other loves, which in moments of despair appears to show you why it is for you your first love, your relationship more special … Each relationship is expected, some arrive later, other come before, but I know if everyone is looking for that special relationship, that magical moment or so expected by the people is for something, and when so many people want that true love, is because it has to be something like living in a pink world, which despite the daily obstacles, there is always one person who comes with his brush and paint bucket to put on a label ‘pink’ and paint and illuminate your sorrows …
– Do not worry if the truth is that I have done a favor, so I have avoided making a ridiculously awful …
– Ya … let me tell you something … you know why you say that? Because you’re afraid to say no,because it is easier to live thinking that you have a chance, because if he says no and you have nothing … True love stories are not easy or come alone, love is for heroes like you …
The physical attraction. Sex ….
… But then when you get to know the person,
that’s the point.
His story, who are inside.
It is the combination of the two that makes it magical …
Remember me, and I say this now, never doubt that I think of you, always.
“Let me try … – said, and slowly begins to kiss her pretending to bite him.
At first Craig is a little tense, but then relaxes. A soft kiss, long and intense. And a caress. Two.
Then stand up, a shirt again, a dress that slips and falls, and he who rises and takes the other side of the house. The corridor, a dark door opens, a bedroom and a table lamp that lights. And more kissing, fondling and passion.
– Look, I should have never left. I knew I had made the wrong decision as the plane landed. I was distracted all summer. Hoping not to see this again, but still sorry.
+ What?
– I was scared … afraid that if we spent all summer together, just us … scallops ..
+ See what?
– Ami.
– Please do not go with him.
+ Why? Give me a reason and “I’m Chuck Bass” does not count.
– Because you do not want.
+ It is not enough, “I do not want” is not enough.
– What more do you want?
+ The real reason I should stay here and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters and yes, I’m all yours. – I … I …
+ Thanks. It’s all I needed to hear.
“Tell me …
– It’s nice. Metamos a note in the bottle and lancémosla the river, destined to find it, do you think? As in that film, “Message in a Bottle” by Kevin Costner and Robin Wright Penn …
Niki can not believe. Is your favorite movie. The have been lots of times, love that survives the disappearance of her … love beyond death. Eros and Thanatos. And the fact that Guido has mentioned that movie just makes you feel a twinge. Searches them and sees that he has torn a leaf from his book and is writing something. See his profile, his lips, his strong features. Is it a boy? Is it a man? Its robust body, calm, protected cent of the night by a light sweater. Her narrow waist, her long legs. And, that smile.
– There, I’ve written. I’ll read: “To you, that you found me cry … I love that you can love with a crazy rebel with an insane passion that these words are for you the beginning of a reckless happiness …”
– It’s a shame …
– Why?.
– … The girls you have a rare tendency engancharos the guys that I reject. If you had you had the same tired busy month, but so you can be thinking about him on all trains and all the dimensions of the next 100 years …
“I think today I wake up” – today I’m staying home today is not much walk on the street and feel the sky comes down to you, the sky crush us. You and me, without letting us breathe, drowning in each blink a bit more, using all the strength that the laws of physics endowed him long ago.
Fortunately, there is still a bit of wind can blow and clear the mind and vision. Let’s fly, escape from the fog that prevents us from seeing what is in front of our tired little eyes.
Suddenly the house she is sad to have lost all the enamel, as if the colors of the couches, carpets, chairs, pictures and all the things we chose togetherthey had suddenly faded, have been blurred, obfuscated, dissolved in water. Or at least that’s how he sees through his tears …
– No, I do not think it will be possible.
– Why not?
– Because if we decide to go somewhere together I’m afraid that one day … maybe not today … maybe tomorrow … maybe not … but one day may suddenly begin to mourn and mourn and weep while nothing can stop me and that Tears filled the room and I miss the air and drag you with me and drown us both.
A kiss, that grip is not cold, hard, coming so fast, due to the urgency, the ‘I hurry’. A kiss that is not look at you without watching you, not smell you, not taste you, without feeling.
A kiss is not the clash of formal skins, rigid, lacking any warmth and emotion. A kiss is not the blow of lips that feat a ‘seeming smile, “but it hurts terribly, in the heart. A kiss that is not steaming coal, almost extinct, but, quite the opposite. A kiss is pure instinct, is necessary, air, and water is life. A kiss is the song of the soul is the only and last time : you.
A kiss is flame and fire at the same time, divinity and sin is skin. A kiss is warmth of heart, is only the present time is the only memory I want to stay and lead this world.
A kiss is an invitation rather than a farewell, it is a here I am, more than a ‘I’m going. ” A kiss is the beginning and no end. A kiss is love without touching, love is not to possess, is nerve pure, raw love.
A kiss, a kiss is a name: yours, love.
You always asked when I had begun to love.
I began to love you exactly when you called me to say I’m leaving. In fact it was at that moment when I forgot the love you felt before, I forgot about the tenderness and sex, of your tongue, I realized that what had felt before was nothing more than the mere reflection of what love was. I discovered that I had wanted ever.
Suddenly, I thought that torture practiced in France Do you know what they did? They tied the limbs of a person to four horses and egged in different directions. Well that’s how I felt. This is how I feel. Now I know what love is.
I love you with that kind of love that he had prayed to feel as a teenager and now I pray never to feel anymore.
I do not know. I just want you to know how I feel …. and no, do not believe that I seek to try again, no … Just … I just want you to know how I feel.
Do not want you to follow your life without knowing how I feel. Can not stand it.
In short, I think it is.
But then when you least expect it, when the balance seems perfect, when you think you have given all the answers, at least most of them, there is a new riddle. And you do not know what to say. Catches you by surprise.
The only thing you get to understand is that love is not yours, it’s that magical time when two people decide to live again, thoroughly enjoy things, dreaming, singing in the soul, feeling light and unique. No possibility of reasoning too. Until both want it. Until one of the two leaves. And there is no way, deeds or words that can make sense into the other. Because love does not respond to reason …
“Well, honestly, I doubt it. Nothing says he will live tomorrow. I jodería because even though I complain … I like to live. Dream is not so bad. No matter how much you have to wait. It gives me the same, everything arrives. Good or bad, everything comes.
– Is that why you like rain, right?
“Yes, it is unexpected. That’s why I’m never aware of if it is sunny or foggy day. I do not. I know it will rain sooner or later … And the feeling I felt after the long wait is usually wonderful.
“I guess that is what we all seek, feelings that make us feel alive.
He slept peacefully in his bed, sideways. While he watched, resting his head on his hand. Was covered to the waist and showed her pink tank top with that picture got so childish that get a smile to think how silly it was setting when trying to make him laugh.
She was his great love. There, lying two and began to think about how much he cared about her. I had never felt anything so deeply for anyone. He had not noticed, but the passage of time and his smile had come to fall in love with a crazy way.
I had everything I longed for a woman. She was perfect for him.
Always in good spirits, getting brighten any gloomy day, with an enthusiasm and vitality inconceivable. Particular innocence was still in force in it, but when you look back, it seemed to be seeing another woman differently.And I was proud to have shared this long journey with her.
Adored her. I was dazzled. For him, it was everything.
I wonder how far it can be rare and difficult this delicate and magical harmony in your world suddenly seems to ring properly. They are moments. Moments that should be experienced in depth because they are unusual. And because sometimes it can end suddenly without a genuine reason.
We admire the beauty of the terrible. It does not hurt when it is not about oneself, it is not the present. Risked up to cliffs. The toes on the most dangerous edge and looking down a deep breath. There is no intention of jumping, but the pressure in the chest makes life all the more deeply. The air is stuck in the lungs and eyesight captures every frame with 100% clarity. Notes have the option of a yes or no, to walk or fall, to accept or deny …
It’s funny as we did not realize the power that resides in those hands when this is not the self. It is there, but we realize. Nothing matters until the minute before.
You look at the fire approaches, caresses it … until it burns. Not surprisingly, it is not unexpected, but that’s when we fall.
The risk runs every corner and even though I try to clear my mind assures me that nothing guarantees fear failure. Heads or tails constantly turn over that money and I still can not figure out who should win. No one beats the other, there is no favoritism to any party, only two different souls.
I keep analyzing every detail in my mind. I wonder if soul mates are better than two opposed. Two twins have the same thing for twice the force, while the opposite has it all his own power. Invade each other, I wonder if that only be doing them a stronger ….
^ A whole life can change in a second and never when it senses
“If it’s something it’s never too late or too early for me to be who they want. No time limit begins when you want, you can change it or not, there are no rules in this regard, we ALL take a positive or negative reading, I hope you see it positively.
I hope you see things that surprise you, I hope you feel things you never sense. I hope you meet people with another point of view, I hope to live a life that you feel proud and if you see not, I hope you have the strength to start again. “
– Hey have I seen it somewhere?
– Maybe I do not think …
– Will you ever Angelus Plaza?
– Yes … it is my favorite place in the city …
– Yes, yes … I think I saw you there!
– Seriously?
– Yes
– I have not seen you …
– Because we would be looking …
And love, that which is described in books and movies, this is a mere fantasy. At that time two options open: to break or deceive. In order to renew. To remember how it was that powerful feeling that you ate your stomach when you thought of him or her. In being together.
And he continues, trapped in a vicious circle of hypocrisy in which neither has the courage to tell the other that the sentiment has changed, that is exhausted, it’s gone. How sad, that’s life “? “You become so?
– …
– I love you because I think you understand how I am, I love you because I can tell you what toI can tell anyone, because I can feel my life by your side will make sense and no longer empty … I love you because you asked me how old I was when my father died, and nobody had ever asked me … I love you so much that I like …
– … What do you want?
– I do not know, I have not been able to write … I ran out of words, 65 are very few right?
– Yes … few …
I remember not long ago I asked if he would ever feel “it” because, despite the differences of each kiss, none had managed to cause that effect on me.
Now I know that this feeling is not unique, that is not identified only with the first kiss. I have found that it is not, I could re-experience it and have thrown overboard all my theories.
Now I just find the reason why small stream that still manage to evoke. I think I have an idea of what it is … is magic.
Why the power of love is fantasy, the desire to love the fact that sometimes turns into a bitter disappointment and why the mere fact that a dream becomes a reality is already a disappointment? Why what dream is the true power of love?
Why is the song of a lover. And while the woman looks so good, we speak of love and dreams with him. But when he finds it’s all over, just a matter of time …
You want one like that changes everything. Does not diminish the terror of the fall, but it gives a new perspective of what it is that terror.
I had leapt from the edge and then at the last momentsomething I picked up in the air. That something is what I define as love. It’s the only thing that can stop the fall of man, the only thing powerful enough to override the laws of gravity.
– You to me too.
And the idea of being in that house, with parents both in adjacent rooms, the so excited that in a blink of an eye is naked under the covers and get lost in confusing hugs, sighs and caresses rebels prohibited. A smile, an open mouth, the sweet pleasure, the desire perfect and these two languages that speak of love in the dark.
At some distance from it, a couple kissing on a motorcycle supported as usual, as if they were alone on a beach, as if there was anyone or anything. They kiss passionately, without stopping for a moment, indifferent to the world, with his hands deep in the hair of another, hungry for love, a passion rebellious, reckless, crazy, not thinking of others. But Who?
I know you too and I know that I write. You’ll want to be someone else. I know you hate me for not being there as I promised. You’ll think you failed, I had no value. So many times I’ve imagined convinced that you had betrayed … What you told lies? What did they say about me? Why do creístes? Now I know you’ve lost, I’ve lost everything and still I can not let you go and forget me forever without you knowing you do not hold grudges, I knew from the beginning, I knew I was going to lose and you’d never see in me what I am in you. Know that I loved from the first day and I still love you, now more than ever, even though you “
We turn ordinary people into gods and monsters we created genuine love and passion that only exist because we so decided.
Love is not in the other, but in yourself … Perhaps for the other person, every moment was wonderful to you, it was just one moment more … one of many … maybe every word that you turned into a treasure for someone else just be a set of letters said to say.
Perhaps our beloved is not what we dream it is, it only projects we needed to get.Maybe it’s my love that made it unique, different and irreplaceable. Like happened to the world with the Beatles … love, need and passion, and were within me, let alone come out and be screened at a person .
Myself that I went crazy, because I needed to go mad, surely loved not at fault. There are no hopeless love, and the unique persons. We do not need anyone to continue living. Everything is fruit of our imagination, and just as that one day we open our hearts to let out all we were inside, we also need to collect all our love and close again … We are the owners. We decide.
We create and destroy, it only needs to be aware that we have the power … and that we alone have the key.
Sara …*]
– Because you dreamed.
– Just because of that?
– Only. Look, every night I slept and dreamed of you, and every morning I remembered the dream. I do not know how people know you’re in love, but I know because every day I dream about the same person.
– I also dreamed of you.
– You do not know or with whom dream. It is a shame, you know? Because the one million euro next to you is small change. And when I was there back in the seat of my bike, I would have blown all the indices of happiness …
* To understand the reason when it happened, the wounds in the heart and are too deep
That’s all I want at this time is to put kisses on each parallel and meridian of your body
So let me believe that I still love you a thousand ways of coordinating my waves and your hips
And now I read the messages and I realize that it had all the earmarks of being the beginning of alovely story. And it was not my fault. I do not come to ask you a second chance. Since you gave me and I returned to spoil. I do not come to apologize, because the only damage in this story have been me. I just want to tell you, though probably not interest you, I’m not well, I’m not the woman you saw all this time. I’m not manipulative, or jealous or protective, or dependent. I’m not anything like that, but so far I have taught just the opposite. I do not know what happened to you, I’d love to know because maybe you would understand my actions and, perhaps so I understand.
I can tell you that it was a mistake, one of many … With heart in hand, I tell you I am very unfortunate that we have been through will not be repeated. I’m like out there do not understand anything. You and I know. I always knew from the start we had a special connection, one thing that I ever had with anyone but myself. I know I lost you the biggest chance of my life. And I know I will never forgive myself. I need a lot about you but I can not ask anything, I have no right. I just want you to know that was perfect to share a slice of life with you, you’re in my story and be part of it until I die. And, although I try to learn to live without you, I will not erase from my mind.
From now on you will meet other women, and although I would never forgive me devoted to lose, I really hope you will appreciate and rocéis at least half the passion with which we have touched you and me. I would love to love you a little, just enough for you to love me.
I wish I had been the wife of your life …
Whenever you take this, but never let us down on us, but never touch us as we return to that time, I’ll always remember as the greatest thing that happened in my life. I’ll never forget Luke, because they were everything, you were the night and day, you were all sea water, were my dream.
Maybe once we meet again, and again we welcome as we have done many times, hiding there never was anything between us, hiding the fact that we had the most beautiful love story that has ever existed, and I think it will take many centuries here for something like that happen again, because you and I were the total eclipse, we were only my life, unique.