Understanding Childhood Friendships and Parenting Styles

Posted on Mar 23, 2025 in Psychology and Sociology

Social Relations in Early Childhood

All definitions of friendship share these common elements:

  • Friendship involves a unique connection not found in other relationships.
  • It is emotional in nature.
  • Friends appreciate each other.
  • It is a reciprocal and concrete process, similar to the social nature of addiction.

Difference Between Friendship and Attachment

Friendship is a voluntary link; friends are chosen, whereas parents are not. It is a dyadic relationship that is symmetrical and reciprocal. Both members are always at the same level, regardless of age. A person can be attached to someone without it being reciprocated, but a friendship cannot exist without reciprocity. Friendship is demanding; it must be earned and maintained through merit. It requires understanding the other’s perspective, respecting their wishes, and collaborating with them. In contrast, attachment figures are unconditional for children. While friendship tends to be stable, changes are relatively frequent during childhood and adolescence.

Friendship: “A dyadic bond, mutual and voluntary, maintained over time, leading to affect (interest and sensitivity to a friend’s experiences) and extensive, intimate interactions; it requires reciprocity.”

Upbringing Dimensions

  • Expressions of affection: Parents can range from very warm to very cold and critical.
  • Discipline strategies: Use of explanation, critical acceptance, and corporal punishment.
  • Communication: Listening patiently to children or requiring silence.
  • Expectations of maturity: Expecting more or less self-responsibility from the child.

Parenting Styles

Authoritarian

The parent’s word is law. Bad behavior is punished. Rules are clear, and children do not offer opinions. Conversations about emotions are scarce. Parents believe they know what is best for their children and dictate their actions. They may love their children but can seem distant and show little affection. They are “authorities.”

Permissive

These parents are less demanding and do not show impatience. They use little discipline and do not demand maturity from their children. They are loving and accepting, listening to and sharing emotions without restraint. They try to help at all times. They are “friends.”

Disciplined

These parents set limits and enforce rules, but they also listen to their children’s demands and questions. They discuss feelings and problems and demand maturity. They are loving and understanding, tending to forgive rather than punish. They are flexible, offering explanations that are more or less reasonable. They are “guides” and “mentors.”

Impact of Parenting Styles

Authoritarian

Children tend to be conscientious, obedient, and passive, but not especially happy. They often feel guilty or depressed, blaming themselves when things go wrong. Upon reaching adolescence, they may rebel and leave home before age 20.

Permissive

Children lack self-control and have poor emotional regulation, leading to immaturity. However, they are skilled in building friendships. They tend to remain in the household and dependent into early adulthood.

Disciplined

Children are often successful, consistent, intelligent, happy with themselves, and generous to others. They tend to be popular with teachers and peers and show initiative.